My Life Story
When you grow up, every minute that passes by is a chance for opportunity. You may believe life is a gift, but in life, you have to make a sacrifice to live your story.
I grew up in the United States; My parent’s names were David and Ana. I love my parents more than anything in this world, and they mean the world to me. My Father David is like my role model, he gave me the moral values to succeed in life and be the woman I am today. My mother Ana, she was a good mother and did everything she could to help me out in life. Even though, I had a complicated relationship with my mother growing up. I still loved her enough to be there for me.
I have siblings who I treasure and view as role models. My brother’s name is Eli, and he worked hard to succeed in life. He always cared about me and protected me from this world. He always became the loving big brother I still love at this point. My sister Reyna is my most significant role model and inspiration. Even though, we would argue as sisters typically do. I still love her enough to be part of my life and always knew I could turn to her when I needed guidance. My other sister is named Gelissanet, and she was born from my stepmother Deya. I love Geli and Deya a lot because I like the fact of having a broader family in the circle. I had another brother named Yassel who I never, but he died as an infant. Even though we weren’t born during that time, I still love Yassel more than anything, and his memory will always be alive in my heart.
Growing up, I was a spontaneous child, and I loved my childhood growing up. I made people laugh, and I knew what life brought. My family lived in a yellow house with a brown balcony; it was my favorite house growing up. Within that house, my family had a whole lot of events that took place. My Dominican family would do parties, holiday gathering and so much more in that time.
My favorite memory was Christmas, and there was a prominent tree place in the living room. It was a fantastic tree with lights and decoration. Me, my siblings and family would take pictures around the tree.
On Christmas, we could only afford some gift.
But my brother and sisters had this idea where they wanted to send Santa a Christmas letter. My brother wrote the letter and asked Santa for lots of gifts.
The next morning, we look on our balcony and notice a big box. My brother looks at my parents and says “whats in the box?”
My parents say “open it.”
We open the box and its filled with toys, we start jumping up and down. My mother makes food, and my dad turns up the music. That Christmas was my most favorite memory of all time.
I used to have so many great memories back in that street, and I loved living there. My family would go on vacation, yard sales and even visit my grandparents every so often. I loved my life growing, and I don’t regret my childhood one bit.
I loved spending time with my dad and learning from him. Even though, he was a bit controlling. My dad always meant a lot to me and spent time with him.
But in life, growing up was a challenge and difficulty. When I was young, I was born with a Learning Disability. A Learning Disability is a mental condition upon problems in knowledge and skills. Growing I loved learning and understand the world differently; I wanted to read books and be a focused learner. But something inside of me wouldn’t allow me to be the focus. So to expand my knowledge, I used creativity as my method to grow in life.
Instead of books, I would turn to areas such as music, art, and writing. I loved reading, but I grew up as a slow reader. Most times, I would repeat stuff on a constant basis to capture the information.
As a baby, I was more attached to my father and loved spending time with him. Back then, my dad worked as a taxi driver and Real Estate. He was a hard worker and always puts his family first. When my dad would leave for work, I would chase him down like a baby in a diaper and scream out “daddy.” My mother would tell me “you would do that every time he would leave”
I couldn’t hold back the tears when I heard that story. My dad was always an influential father figure in my life, and I knew he would do it to protect me from life itself.
My mother was an excellent mother to heart, but she wasn’t easy understanding. I never understood her growing up; I always kept to myself. Even though, my mother was in another world. I would use creativity as my method of growing up. My mother had so many problems going on; I kept my distance upon my space. But even though, we had a complicated relationship. She did everything she could to help me out thru any challenges. I don’t blame my mother upon what she was going thru; I did everything I could to go with the flow.
My Brother Eli was a right person with a loving heart, and he always knew the right things to say. Even though, I annoyed the crap out of him also though it’s my job as his little sister. My brother was a hard worker and knowledgeable person. His passion was most likely within the medical field. Growing up, he loved racing cars, video games, fitness and rap music. My brother was the typical guy growing up, and he kept to himself. Within the social world, he was most likely the favorite guy around people.
My Sister Reyna was a loving sister who always looks out for me. Growing up as a sister, we argued about anything which includes movies, music, family, and others. My sister would always win her battles and loved winning her way within every direction. But you know what, we are sisters, and we love each other at the end of the day, what do you expect. But even though we argued, I still enjoyed my sister, and I liked more annoying the crap out of her. When I needed my big sister, she was always there for me guiding me and being my role model. She always taught me the values of life and gave me advice when I needed it. Although, I would play pranks on her and she would do the same to me. But I loved her more than you could imagine.
But when I was seven years old, my parents went through a rocky divorce that affected my mentality more than anything. In my life, I grew up around lots of stressful situations, but I did everything I could to keep myself together.
So my mother and father break up within that time frame.
My mom and siblings move into another house with my aunt carmen’s family. This house is green and a two-floor house with a playground.
Everything went well in that house and knowing my aunts family was in the same condo as us was terrific. Within the house, my family lived on the first floor, and my aunts family lived on the second floor. Within the house we had many great memories and my family would always spend time with each other nonstop.
As to keep up with the rent, my mother decides to allow people to move into our house. Since my brother and sister were living with my dad, I was told to stay with my mother and live in the house. I had my room, and I would watch Disney all the time. I was obsessed with Disney, and I love watching all the shows, dancing to the music and singing to my favorite artist.
The roommates, my mother, allowed to move in with us was Hector and Naldo. I love the twins; they were my brothers best friends. Hector was the serious one, while Naldo was the crazy one. I love both of them; they were like big brothers to me. Hector and Naldo always brought movies, food like pizza, games and blasting music. My mother and I were always entertained by the twins. They even placed a fighting ring in the back room where they could practice boxing.
Even on New Years, Hector and Naldo would light up fireworks and just party all night.
At the house, we would hold Halloween night, thanksgivings, sleepovers and more. It was a time of a lifetime, sometimes even the fire thing would go off, and water would spring out of the streets.
The other roommate my mother got was a Mexican woman named Juana; she notices the woman was pregnant and gave her a place to stay. So as a thank you, she made a Mexican feast that was good and delicious. I would spend time with Juana and learn about her culture; she was a fantastic woman who I love getting to know.
Within that house, I develop a syndrome where I was sleeping one night. I was asleep in my bed, and I started to shake in my sleep. It would often happen, most times my body would shake non stop, and I would make a sound out of nowhere. It would happen so many time; I didn’t know what was going on.
So my mother took me to the doctors and had me check out. The doctors ran a test on me and didn’t find any explanations. I ask the doctor “why am I doing that noise and its always a high pitch cough.”
The doctors say “you have torretes syndrome, its called a tick and it happens to many people.”
I ask the doctor “ is there any treatment for the syndrome?”
The doctor looks at me “you will be on medication that will reduce the ticks, but there is no treatment for the torretes syndrome.”
I hated the fact that I was going to live my life with a coughing tick and my body being uncontrollable. But I guess that’s what life brings you
My mother had enrolled at the Haverhill Middle School, and that’s when I met Vanessa. The girl who became my childhood best friend and my other sister. Vanessa was always a sweetheart, whenever I needed her. She was still there for me, and I was still there for her. The way we met was a funny experience and my favorite memory.
As I approach the school, I carried 20 books in my bookbag. I was a lover of books, and I loved reading. So I soon come to this room and its filled with students. I remember Vanessa, was sitting at a desk and she’s sitting next to somebody else. Vanessa then looks my way and pushes the student out of their seat. She cleans the desk next to her and tells the kid to move. The kids mad and walk to another desk. She points my way and yells “new girl, sits over here.”
Everybody is speechless and starts laughing. I go over to her and sit on the desk. From that moment, we are a tight clique and unstoppable. During lunch, we share snacks, hang out and have so much fun together. Vanessa is the one girl I love more than anything in this world and love being crazy with her.
As time passes by, separation becomes harder
My dad and mother knew the situation was complicated, but they work together as to keep my siblings and me together. By that time, my dad met my stepmother Deya, and they had a daughter named Gelisannet. My mother took my siblings and me to live in the Dominican Republic. I wanted to connect with my step-sister, but the situation with my mom and dad was so complicated at that moment. But either way, I still loved Gelisannet and cared more for my father’s happiness.
Also, hoping I would get to know my stepmother who was a sweetheart. Years later, I soon develop a fantastic relationship with her, and she’s a fun person to heart.
I love my sister Gelisannet; I love the fact of connecting with family. She makes my days a whole lot of fun; she’s fun-loving and a total sweetheart. I talk to her about anything; she understands and super funny. That’s what I love about funny, love is in your heart.
Although knowing my parent divorce was rocky, I knew I had people who cared about me more than anything on both sides. So feeling loved upon both families was a primary factor to make me feel complete.
In the Dominican Republic, my mother rents out a house with my grandparents. The house was a significant property my grandparents owned. Something I learned, my grandfather built it from the ground up with massive details. The home was beautiful, and it felt peaceful. On the second floor, they owned three dogs. The dogs were two pit bulls and a dalmatian. Lots of time I was afraid of the male pit bull since he would bark on a constant basis. The house my mother rented out was a tiny house right next door within the home itself. It was small but temporary, lots of times my sister and I would play on the windows which were made out of steel. We would swing on the irons nonstop and watch cars pass by. My brother as typical as he could be was more into playing video games and hanging out with my grandfather with the dogs.
Within the house, my family would hold all types of events and a party in the neighborhood. Since my family was Dominican, all the neighbors would come and party. People would bring food and drinks nonstop. Our neighbors would bring food such as particles, rice, meat, beans, tacos, and others.
My aunt and uncle would visit with my other family member. Lots of times my aunt would take my sibling and me to the Carribean hotels for vacation. I loved spending time with my family because they made me feel special. But somehow I still miss my dad and wondered how he’s doing; my dad would call us to see how we were doing. Receiving communication from my dad still kept me grounded growing up.
The divorce was tough to handle because I always hoped for that ordinary family. Lots of times, I thought it was my fault. But my dad and mother always reminded me that I was special within their hearts.
A couple of years after, my mother and my siblings moved to another house within a dead end street. By this time, My mother rented a house that was green and white with a small neighborhood. Within the community, I met a large number of people who were friendly and loving. As a way to invite my family to the community, people would do parties almost every Saturday and have fun. Sometimes, all the teenagers and children would do a dance party in the street and pump up the music with Spanish pop songs like Shakira, Daddy Yankee, Chayanne, and others.
On that street, I had a group of girls who were my Spanish clique. Their names were Melissa, Yoline, and the other three girls. All of us girls even created a dance group that we wanted to make as a professional move. Within our dance group, we chose songs by Shakira and performed at birthday parties and events. My steps weren’t that good, so I back out of the group. So the girls decided to do it for fun, and I was alright with that.
Lots of time I would be bored at the house, and my grandparents decided to add a new addition to the family out of surprise. One day, my grandpa came in a large truck and brought a cage. We heard a loud barking noise, and the cage was moving nonstop. My siblings and I were curious; we didn’t know what was going on. That’s when my grandfather opened the cage and let a puppy out. As soon as I saw the puppy, I fell in love with her. She would jump, lick and become so entirely playfully with everyone around her. My mother didn’t like her and told my grandfather that she didn’t approve of the dog. The dog suddenly jumps on my mother and wags her tail nonstop. My sibling and I begged her to keep the dog, the dog soon cuddles my mom and convinces her to keep it. My grandfather leaves the dog with us, and it’s a whole new experience. The dog was a golden retriever slash pitbull; my brother soon said: “why don’t we call her Lassie.” The dog soon enough jumps for joy and licks my brother face nonstop. Somehow she loved the name more than anything.
(my dog’s story is in my blog titled Lassies story, all the details you want to know about her are there.)
Anyways, my mother and stepfather soon believe we were old enough to attend school. The school we visited was named “Los Estudiantes,” and it was only 10 minutes from our house. So one morning as we approached the school for the very first time, I was a bit afraid to enter and didn’t believe I was ready. But my mother and stepfather thought it was the right choice to meet new people. Since growing up with a Learning Disability, I had difficulty staying focus upon studies. My brain wasn’t used to general studies such as math, English, and others. But although I struggle, I work hard in school to excel and earn good grades in the class. So as the days pass, I started reading books and having good relationships with the teachers. I never got along with students. Because in my mind, they viewed me as a freak and never accepted me for the way I was. Besides I was a tall girl, they would most likely make fun of myself as a person. Favorite girls would look at me and laugh in my face. All I wanted was friends, was that too much to ask.
The school “Los Estudiantes” was a traumatic place in my life, that’s where I was humiliated, made fun of and even embarrassing in front of the student. As a young kid, I hated the school and everything about it.
One time I was in recess and the worst moment happened, I was sitting on a balcony reading a book, and I was more hoping to be peacefulness. But instead, I got bullied and humiliated. As I read my book, a girl approached me and said: “what are you reading?”
I looked at her and said, “it’s my favorite book.”
The girl looks at the favorite girls and snatches my book away. I don’t understand what happened and what was going on. The girl soon tells everybody to gather around and waves the book in my face.
I get off the balcony, and I say “please, give me my book back.”
The girl threw the book on to the floor and said: “pick it up.”
Everybody holds there cameras and laughs. I head towards the book, and I pick it up. The girl pushes me from the back, and I fall to the ground. Everybody is laughing at me and screaming out “loser, freak.”
I take my book and tell her to back off. Before the girl was gonna punch me, a teacher interrupted and said “that’s enough”
The teacher looks at me and says “your grounded, go to the board and write on the chalkboard saying “I’m sorry” a thousand times. Everybody laugh while I go to the classroom to do as the teacher said and the teacher lets the girl go home with no punishment. She wouldn’t even let me explain and made me take the fault. I’m officially the joke at the school.
Another event that happened at “Los Estudiantes” was the playground scene. As I sat near the balcony in recess, I notice the favorite girls across the room. All the favorite girl sat together and saw me sitting by myself. They would look my way and laugh nonstop. I guess that’s what I get for being a freak in their eyes.
So ever since then, I put my focus on my studies and excelled at my classes.
Soon enough I get the surprise I never expected, the girl who bullied me decides to appear at my house hoping for my forgiveness. I was shock and disturbed, why would she appear at my home over a situation that’s traumatizing for me.
She stayed outside and said “I’m sorry for what I did to you at the school. It wasn’t my intention.”
I said, “You made me look like a fool in front of all those students, what did I do to deserve it.”
She said, “The popular girl made me pull the prank on you, I just wanted to fit in.”
I said, “you don’t have to bully somebody to get accepted.”
She said, “Please forgive me, I would like to be friends.”
I thought about her apology and decided to give her a chance to prove who she was. So over the day we hanged out and became good friends. She would come over to my house, and I would spend some time at her home. Everything went well, and I found out she was a sweetheart. We became a good friend from that time forward, and no matter what, I knew people had good hearts upon who they are.
Another special memory I remember was the day I discovered my unique talent. In the Dominican Republic, houses would be made out of brick on the rooftop, and every morning I would climb the windows to make it my special hiding place. On the roof of the house, I decide to use it as my stage where I was able to perform. I didn’t care who was watching; I didn’t care who was recording. On that rooftop, I sang my heart out and would sing to any song that pops up in my head. The joy of singing and finding out I could sing was the very first time I felt alive. My singing voice ranged between Bon Jovi and Celine Dion. I couldn’t believe how high I hit that note. But I could understand, God gave me a gift to pursue.
So every day, I would sing and dance on that rooftop. Even though my mother tried to find me, I never told her where I was. Cause I was to busy in my little world. On the rooftop of my house, I would write songs and compose a melody with my voice. I would imagine singing in a stadium and being the hero of my own life. Something I love about being creative, you are your artist.
My dog Lassie was my biggest fan and inspiration. She was my best friend and soulmate when I needed confidence. Lassie would always stick by my side. She would run around the house, and I would be playful with her nonstop. That dog was my other half and the love of my life. Lassie was more of a role model for me and showed me the good things about life.
As time pass, so did a flash in my life which almost brought me to the point of death. On this specific day, I almost died, but I live to tell my story.
This morning became the day I will never forget, it wasn’t my mother nor my stepfather fault. It was the motorcyclist who caused the biggest death scam I could ever imagine. That morning, I, my mother and stepfather were on our way to an appointment at a hospital for a physical exam. As my mother drove out the main entrance towards the busy street, she waited until the cars pass on the other side. I look to my right, and I see a motorcyclist speeding up towards us and not stopping. At full speed without realizing my mother car is waiting for an opening on the other end. The motorcyclist decides to crash into the passenger seat where I was seated. Luckily if I didn’t have my seatbelt, I would have been dead. Within my seat, the motorcycle crash into my door and almost injured my body. The glass shattered on me, and everybody was wondering if I was okay. My mother looks at my face and screams “she needs to go to the hospital.”
My stepfather blames my mother, even though it wasn’t her fault. Right next to the accident was a hospital, I’m asking “whats wrong with me?”
My mother said, “your nose is split in half.”
So soon enough, my stepfather carries me to the hospital where the doctor lays me on a bed. The motorcyclist is unconscious and is the other room. My mother was so furious and wants to beat the crap out of the motorcyclist who didn’t care about stopping. My stepfather calms my mother down and calls a neighbor to pick me up. My mother and stepfather go towards the accident as to report to the police about what just happened.
When I wake up, I notice the doctor was next to my bed and saying “how are you feeling?”
I felt a string on my nose, and I said: “what did you guys do?”
The doctor looked at me and said: “your nose was split in half, you have eight stitches, and it will take time to recover.”
By that time, my mother got a neighbor to take me home and rest. I slept the whole night within recovery until I woke up and saw something incredible in my neighborhood. The entire community gathered around the house and held a prayer night for me. They put tables of food around our entrance and hugged me with so much love. Everybody held hands and began praying right in front of me. One neighbor said, “it’s a miracle your alive, this night of prayer is for you.”
I cried so many tears of love upon the fact that God was watching over me.
My mother took action and sued the motorcyclist. Before the court case, she investigated the motorcyclist and found out he had scammed many victims over the past years for insurance fraud. The police were trying to find him. As soon as the court became aware, we won the case, and the motorcyclist was behind bars for the rest of his life.
As I said, I live another day to tell my story.
The street name was “Street 13,” and many good memories happened within that dead-end street. We met a lot of loving neighbors, and we had a family all around us. Everything about the street was nothing but love, and I loved it.
Years later, we move to a different house. My mother and stepfather divorced, a complicated situation was too much to handle. Suddenly, she soon meets a man whos a police officer, and we move into a new house. The house was painted out of white a blue. Within the house, we had a living room, three bedrooms, bathroom, a driveway, a kitchen and a big yard. My mother and the new man created a comfortable environment for us to live in. I was okay with the accommodation, and I started to like the neighborhood. Lassie was even use to the yard, she would run in circles and play with whatever items she could find. She would bark at people nonstop and not care about a damn thing. My mother would yell at lassie and say “Lassie, enough”
But she would keep doing as to annoy my mother so much.
I remember a memory from that house that I never forgot. For a year I was upset with my mother, but I knew she was trying her best. Around the area, two places were located in the neighborhood which was a piano class and a homework center. I wanted the piano class more than ever, so I ask my mother if I could sign up. My mother denied the request and said: “I’m going to sign you up for the homework center each week.”
I would ask her “why can’t I sign up for piano classes, you and the family know I can sing.”
My mother ignored it and said: “we can’t afford it.”
When she said that, I felt as if she wasn’t supportive upon my dreams and it broke my heart. Every day I would be enraged cause I wanted to become a musician more than anything. I attended the homework sessions, and it was nothing but death boredom. Within the program, they would help with homework, and that’s it. I didn’t learn much and a complete waste of money. While being in the program, I would write songs and imagine my life on stage. I would put the headphones on and replay music to imagine myself performing the song.
But in the back of my mind, I still wish my mother would invest a bit of money for my future by signing me up for piano classes. Maybe in life, we make a sacrifice for all the right reason even if it hurts other in the end.
Another memory, My church had a singing audition every Sunday, and they would recruit the most influential singers. Every Sunday, I would attend an audition with a group of other girls to sing and be part of a church group with performers. The priest would allow every girl to sing a 10-minute piece and analyze their vocal range. When my turn came in, I always notice the priest being more interested with the other girls. I would sing my heart out and never made it. Every time I audition, he would choose all the other girls but me. Even though, I sang with every bone in my body. Not making the cut was devastating, but I didn’t want to give up.
Within my bedroom, my life changed upon an incredible experience that I will never forget. I was lying in my bed on a Saturday when I notice a show appearing on television. This show changed me as for how I viewed life and gave me the life lesson I been searching for. I watch the show on Disney Channel, and it was known as “Lizzie Mcguire.” The show “Lizzie Mcguire” was a sitcom about a teen who was trying to facing stressful situations in life even though she had bigger dreams ahead. The actress who played Lizzie was Hilary Duff, and she was an inspiration to me within all ranges.
Every day after school, I would watch the show “Lizzie Mcguire” and listen to every lesson she would give. I was in love with the actress and wanted to be like her more than anything.
Every day, I would watch Disney and watch all their shows and movies nonstop. I felt like I was in my little world when I was around Disney. I just felt like I had my space and identity. Being inspired by Disney was my personality. So every day, I would sing Hilary Duff songs and watch her movies nonstop. I loved everything about her, and she was my official role model.
Lassie would even climb on my bed and watch the show with me. I would compose, write, draw and even dance for hours. I also had a next door neighbor who was a big fan of Disney.
He and I would talk about Disney nonstop; he was a ten-year-old boy just like me. His favorite show was “That’s so Raven,” it was a fantastic experience to find other people who loved Disney as much as I did.
Around the house occurred a devastating event that forces us to move out. Something horrible happened around the house and that day was just a day filled with horror.
On a quiet even around the neighborhood, right next to our house was a field of trees, plants, and grass. Somebody decided to spill gasoline within the area and set it on fire. It was a cruel, especially with the scene horror. This fire was so big; not even firefighters could control it. Since the fire was so big, we were forced to move out of our house with the situation that it was right next to our house. Luckily, the houses didn’t get burned down, because the field of grass was part of our home due to a road that separated both areas.
So after the fire and the man my mother dated who cheated on her separated, we moved back to my grandparents home.
By that time, my dad had taken my brother and sister back to the United States as to live a better life. I stayed with my mother as to keep her company in the Dominican Republic.
While I stayed in my grandparents home, my aunt and her family would take me out to places to have fun. My aunt owned a bookstore and cafeteria back then. She had close connections with the Caribbean hotels, so we would go over to the hotels and spend a couple of days. Within the Caribbean hotel, they had concerts, restaurants, cuisine food, pools and a beautiful beach. Being in that hotel felt like paradise waiting to happen.
But in the Dominican Republic, I loved working in the bookstore with my aunt and trying out her dishes in the cafeteria. Since the school location was near to my aunt’s bookstore. I would spend hours helping my aunt with selling candy and drinks to students. Sometimes, I would place the candy for 1 dollar and sell them. But my aunt said, “why are you putting all these candies for 1 dollar.”
I say “don’t you wanna get rid of them.”
My aunt said, “No, we need to sell at a regular price to increase profits.”
At that moment she gave me another chance, and we sold all the goodies at the end of the day. Spending my days at the bookstore was a fantastic experience. Lots of times I would sneak into the candy bar station and take sparkies candy for myself. Sparkies tasted like skittle but more delicious.
So over time I would work at the bookstore and help my aunt in the cafeteria. My aunt was a fantastic chef at making Dominican cuisine dishes. She knew how to season, put a smile on a customer’s face and she even did the trick where she would grab a bowl and place rice inside the bowl. Then she would grab a plate and put it on top of the bowl and then flip it as to make circular rice shaped mountain. Everything about working there was a fantastic experience.
A couple of years pass by, and my dad purchases an airplane ticket to bring me back to the United States as to live a better life. I was happy and joyful; I wanted better dreams than what Dominican republic offered.
When I arrived in the United States at 14 years old, I moved in with my dad, brother, and sister at that time. Being able to come back and make a fresh start was a great experience. I wanted to grab all the opportunities life could bring.
Within that period, my dad enrolled me in the Arlington Middle School to start the 8th grade. Since I had a Learning Disability, the school enrolled me in special ed classes. So I had regular courses but also working with a tutor at the same time as to progress in my studies.
At the Arlington Middle School, I met a whole lot of students who were welcoming. Within the school, I had three best friends Vanessa, Samuel, and yera.
I was so happy to be reunited with Vanessa since she was my childhood best friend and it’s incredible how we saw each other again after all these years.
At the school, we didn’t have much time to hang out. Our schedule was so different but no matter what we always made time for each other even though our world were separated.
Samuel was the guy I met at the Arlington School; he always knew how to make me laugh and talking about random stuff was excellent. I would spend recess with him and talk about whatever. People assume we were a couple, which wasn’t the case. Samuel was a great person who I got along with mutually. I hate how people could judge you and think they can get away with it. All I know, I will never forget the great friendship I had with him.
Yera was just a funny, spontaneous girl, and I love that woman more than anything. The one thing I like about all three of my best friend. They always knew how to make me feel special.
Within the Arlington School, a surprising moment happened when I received the gift of a lifetime. I was sitting near the window in recess when the principal called me over to his car. I didn’t understand what was going on and he just stood there saying “I have something for you.”
I ask “What is it?”
The principal opened the trunk of his car and said: “I have a gift for you.”
The principal took out a basketball and gave it to me. He said, “I want you to play basketball.”
I was happy and said, “Thank You.”
Every day, during recess I played basketball within the hoops and practice my skills on the court.
That’s when I decided to enter the basketball team at my school. Every day after school we would practice nonstop within the hoops. Many girls were better than me; I didn’t think I had what it took to make it. But I did my best to keep up; my coach assigned me to play defense.
Our training would include running up the stairs, running every hall, practicing drilling and hoops. We competed against other schools and won.
But in the back of mind, I didn’t think this was for me, so I quit.
Within the school, I found my passion, and it was music. The school had premiered a talent show, and they wanted students of different talents. I auditioned and pass, but the school canceled the talent show days after. Better opportunities will come.
Soon enough After graduating the Arlington Middle School,
I soon entered the Lawrence High School as a freshman, and within the world, it was different than I could ever imagine.
The first time I entered the school, I was nervous and excited. I felt as if I was finally going to start a whole new life and nothing was going to stop me. I had so many dreams and ambitions about what I wanted in my life. I wanted to be a musician or even a business owner someday. I am dreaming full on of what I wanted to be when I grew up.
So as I entered the school, there was no uniform policy. Everybody wore whatever they wanted; I decided to come to school every day with a hoodie cause of shy I was.
Soon enough, my first class was advisory, and I had officially developed my first crush. My high school crush was a kid named Jake; I don’t know why I crush on him. I guess I was a sucker for blue eyes and he was a cutie back in high school. He never paid attention to me, and I was never his type. I would sometimes stare because he was adorable and I like blue eyes. Oh god, I sound so childish even talking about it.
Anyways, changing the subject
As a freshman, I found my passion once again, and it was most likely like home to me. You see the school had six academies which were BMF (Business Management and Finance), PFA (Performing and Fine Arts), INT (International Academy), HHS (Health and Human Services), HLD (Health), MST (Mathematics, Science, and Technology).
So I enrolled in the academy BMF (Business, Management, and Finance). Within my freshman year, I was allowed to enter any clubs. So the primary club I decided to enter was the Gospel Choir, I loved singing and anything that could get my voice out there. I was in it to win it.
Within the Gospel Choir, I met a whole lot of different people who had a fantastic talent. They were unique, and I was stunned at their voices. Some of them could hit an alto range (low), soprano (high) and even a tenor voice (mid-range). We sang songs of any kind within gospel such as Aint No Mountain High, Build Me Up Buttercup and others.
These people could combine their voices into different melodies; it was my first time seeing people like me singing upon their passion. During my time within Gospel Choir, we perform for concerts, and each person in the group had solos. I knew these were the people I belonged to and I knew this was my place of love.
So as a freshman, I auditioned for so many shows but never got the opportunity. I thought I was hitting a dead end and I didn’t know where to go at this point. I never learned how to interact regularly with people, and I didn’t even have the opportunity to learn how also to act professionally.
So as a freshman, I saw a movie that became one of my favorite film of all time. Something about this movie grabbed my attention, and somehow I was in love with the film itself. The name of the film was “High School Musical” by Disney. I would watch that movie nonstop, and it always grabbed my attention. I love the actors who starred in the movie, and they were Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Corbin Bleu, Monique Colman, Ashley Tisdale and Ryan. My biggest crush was Zac Efron and yes I was a sucker for blue eyes, I’ll admit that.
But the movie was more of a life lesson about high school. Even though, I went thru challenges in high school. High School Musical became my survival tool to keep moving forward and keep striving towards my dreams, as well as opportunity.
In every scene, I used it as a mechanism to become stronger in life and not quit. So even though, I kept getting rejected by opportunities. I never stop believing in my dreams. As a tall girl, surviving high school was not easy. But I did everything I could not to be the one left behind or bullied. I wanted to show people that you can be who you are if you believe in yourself.
One of the sweetest that happened during my freshmen year was one of my guy friends Samuel who did something unexpected. He was in a relationship at the time, and he decides to sing for me at lunch. I don’t understand why he did this, but it meant a lot to me, and I felt loved by somebody who I cared. At that moment, Samuel decides to sing a song from the movie High School Musical “When there were you and me.” I did appreciate it, and I was blushing the whole time he sang it.
I wanted to sing it, but my voice was not at that specific vocal range. So I allowed Samuel to take the lead, but I have to say he was surprisingly good.
So after I graduated Freshmen year, I entered Sophmore year at LHS. All the students were directed to a brand new building that was constructed. The school wanted to adjust a system that would be a bit more spacious upon all six academies.
So as I approach the new school, it was so much more different than the old building. First of all, students were told to wear uniforms that match the academic and khaki pants. The uniform policy was in place; BMF (gray polo shirts), PFA (red polo shirt), MST (brown polo shirts), HLD (white polo shirts), HHS (light blue polo shirts) and INT (green polo shirts).
I love being in BMF, I met a lot of great people, and it felt like I belong. But lots of time I wondered about PFA and what I was missing out.
During Sophmore year, I met a guy named ALEX who was a great friend. As a tall girl, I felt like a freak around people. But ALEX was a tall guy too and at least knowing I wasn’t the only person who battled the same genetic inheritance made me feel unique as a tall woman. I notice how ALEX would engage with people and I started to see how people would interact.
It’s not easy facing high school as a tall woman when people believe every tall person should be a basketball player. People didn’t mind being friends with a tall person and I was starting to learn that. I was glad to have a friend like ALEX because at least he accepted me for the way I am and I appreciated that.
I also wanted to be friends with his girlfriend Ruth, but she never understood me. Lots of times, I was ignored by her, and it hurt. All I was trying to do was make friends.
Somehow, she believed I was a strange person and that I wasn’t somebody who she wanted to interact. She didn’t know me that well, she didn’t know who I was and never gave me a chance to get to know her.
I viewed RUTH and ALEX as two inspiring people who were strong enough to combat the world. Every time I saw RUTH and ALEX; I felt like maybe someday I would be like them. Be an inspiration to other people and reach dreams that were unstoppable.
Since I struggle in my own life, at least they were like role models. At least knowing that other people were working hard towards their dreams. At least, that’s the push I need to keep moving forward.
Something shocking that happened during Sophmore year, that was unexpected and unbelievable. Every year, the schools had a princess competition, and I wanted to participate in anything that could get me recognized as somebody. So I decided to enter the contest as a SOPHMORE PRINCESS. So many girls would compete so what are the odds that I get the pick. Every girl was instructed to create a campaign sign with their photos. So I entered the race and decided to take a picture.
The next day I’m at my locker, and I hear my girls screaming down the hall saying “you won SOPHMORE PRINCESS.” I was shocked, and I couldn’t believe what just happened, people voted for me, and it felt amazing to be known as something.
So once I got crowned SOPHMORE PRINCESS, people praised me and said “congrats” to me for getting the crown. I couldn’t believe, and it was the year I never forgot.
On the day of the crowning, all girls were instructed to get ready. My girls pulled me out of advisory to spend 5 hours doing my hair and wearing my green dress. The princess system was developed within every six academies separately. Within each academy, only one girl could be a freshmen, sophomore, junior and senior princess. Only one woman represented all six academic as queen. So knowing I got SOPHMORE PRINCESS was an honor I will never forget.
But as a sophomore, I notice my torretes was starting to kick in, and it was a pain dealing within. For the year, I tried hiding it, and it was difficult. On a daily basis, my ticks would start to happen, and people would always stare at me wondering why I’m acting like this. I never told people about my torrettes because I felt like they would view me as a freak. Rumors would fly around school about me being a freak and a loser. All because my ticks started to pop in and I hated it. I hid in my house during my school year because I didn’t want anybody to see the loser I was.
My family would question me, why I keep doing these ticks, and I would ignore any comments that would be called at me. The way I look or the way I dress was way much important than the way I felt inside being hurt emotionally by the people around me.
I didn’t feel accepted by anybody, who would ever wanna associate with a girl with torretes. People mostly thought I didn’t belong, maybe they were right.
But that wasn’t going to stop me from pursuing my dreams. So I ignored judgments, hatefulness, and rudeness from others.
Some of my ticks would include a cough, head shaking, and body movements. People would often stare at me and not accept the girl with torretes. I couldn’t control my ticks and people didn’t understand what I was going thru at that moment. I had enough of bullying, so I fired back by being the woman I am and not caring what other people thought of me.
I loved myself, and my creativity was my world of love and desire. If I have to face, this world then ill do it on my own.
Within the year, my family and I moved into a house that was of course haunted. I am not kidding, and I am not joking. But every time I entered this house; it gave me the creeps. The house we were living in was white. The very first time we moved in, I notice a bullet left in the corner of the living room. I didn’t know what happened and I didn’t want to know. But every night, I had dreams of a man getting shot in the chest within that house. Every night, I would hear a clicking noise in the living room and notice the keyboard typing on its own. I would have dreams about the same man shadow and even sense his presence everywhere I was in that house. My family sensed the energy and moved to another house.
That’s when we moved to a yellow house, and within that time frame, I notice a surprise. RUTH and ALEX had lived on the same street as me. The house was alright and comfortable; my mother joined us as we lived in that house. For a couple of years, things went out smoothly, and we were a happy family once again. Relationship with me and my mother were complicated, but that’s family. As I sat in the balcony for fresh air, RUTH and ALEX would always say hi to me. ALEX would ever start a conversation and see how I was. But RUTH was still distant; I never understood her or what she had against me. But I know, either way, she had a loving soul, I just wanted to be her friend, cared about both of them.
I was never the person who was jealous or cruel. I was always the innocent one trying to make friends in this world. Battling what I went thru wasn’t always easy.
The house was beautiful, I practiced piano and sang in my bedroom for hours. I wanted to work so hard to succeed; I would of risk anything to make it in this world. I wanted to perform on a big stage and maybe someday do a duet with my favorite artist Hilary Duff. If I sang with Hilary Duff, it would be a dream come true and a miracle.
Now the junior year is approaching, and it becomes serious upon my future.
I wanted to work so hard to get into Berklee College of Music and succeed in that field. So I decided to volunteer at the YMCA as a music teacher to gain experience.
At the YMCA, I started teaching children how to sing and gain knowledge within vocal range. If I could work my way up in the Gospel Choir, and volunteer as a Music Teacher. Maybe I could have the opportunity to succeed in my field.
Since the high school allowed me in to transfer to the Performing and Fine Arts, I allowed myself to dive into creative liberal arts programs that were an investment for my future. I work my way towards participating in areas such as art, music, and writing. I wanted to take any advantage as to prove to Berklee College of Music I had what it took. But somehow finance was an issue and transportation.
My dad said, “why don’t you get your drivers license.”
Since my Learning Disability was an issue upon learning, passing the permit test and getting my license wasn’t easy. It took me 15 tries to pass the permit test, two times to get into driving school and passing the road test on the first try. So that took a couple of years, even though I read the book a thousand times. I was able to pass my drivers license in the year 2017.
Anyways back to junior year, the struggle of having a Learning Disability in high school is trying to catch up with the material. The school placed me in special classes and working with a counselor to monitor my progress. The school even book me with a program called Mass Rehab to help me succeed right after high school. This is how much they cared about me.
Every day during lunch time, I would sneak out of the lunch room and head up to the third floor of the Performing Arts Theater as to make it my special hiding place to imagine myself on a stage as a singer. I would sing and perform any song in my head. I would even dance just for fun.
Within my junior year, I met two special people, and they meant a lot to me. Nichole and Andy, the best part about them was their humor. With Nichole, I could be myself and be a crazy butterfly. But I loved spending time with Andy, since meeting another tall person made me feel special. They both understood me, and I was more happy meeting people who accepted me as somebody.
But getting a job in this town was a major struggle, I applied every where for a job and never got anything. I would try and try and try. But things weren’t easy upon the period, especially with job hunting.
But as vacation was approaching, I took the opportunity to perform in some open mics and participate in a high school theater show named “the Wizard of Oz.”
Being able to dive into those opportunities was a dream come true, and I was amazed by what life could bring you. So within the theater show “Wizard of Oz,” I was dress as a goblin from the evil witch, and I was alright with it. Working with actors and singers was an incredible opportunity that helps me strive into the liberal arts world.
Another opportunity was being a singer upon the theater show “Footloose,” the director gave me a chance to a gospel singer within the show.
I also performed at open mics and talent shows, so life wasn’t so hard when music became my inspiration.
Senior Year had finally approached, I was so excited to get back on track and make of myself something. I wanted to improve my grades and strive this year with a bang.
Within my semester, I audition for Berklee College of Music. Everything about that school I loved and I wanted to take the opportunity to be a part of that world. I wanted it more than anything I could think of, and somehow I was competing against the top professionals in the field.
On the day of the audition, I entered a room with other students who were trained as musicians. Many were competing for the same space, a chance to live their dreams. I didn’t think I was good enough, but my dad and brother believed I had a chance. So the instructor calls me for an interview, I enter the room, and I’m asking all these questions related to music. I didn’t know what to say cause I never had the opportunity to go after it. Soon enough, they wanted to showcase my talent within the audition process. I sang my heart out and impressed the judges. Then he started banging the table as to make beats and rhythm; he said “show me what you got”
I tried and failed, cause I never got the training.
So I got rejected from Berklee College of Music, but it wasn’t going to stop me from pursuing my dreams.
I had a best friend named Diana, and she was a fantastic person that I loved connecting with. She was my best friend and a productive person in society. Within school, Diana and I would be out of the bloom crazy. We would talk about so much stuff, makeup in the bathrooms and even hang out with the crew. After school, we would visit each other’s houses and do girl stuff of course. We would walk everywhere, go out to eat and even go shopping.
I love Diana for so many reasons, she was the coolest girl I ever met, and I loved her for that. In some way, she made me feel normal, and I learned a lot about her.
During that time, Diana and I had an idea that we wanted to work on. We tried to work on a business together, and it was an innovated idea that would be superior in its way. So we thought about an idea about talent.
Everything went well, but unfortunately, it couldn’t happen. Diana wanted to pursue a different career, and I wanted to build the idea from scratch. So over the year, we drift apart.
Senior year at Lawrence High School was the highlight of my life and more. In high school, each student has a plan for their future. I didn’t know what I wanted, and my identity was lost. I had no guidance growing up, so I depended on myself to push forward and believed there was something out there for me.
So applied to many opportunities and jobs, but didn’t get a chance to grow in a field. So I told myself, that even though life knocks you down, you have to get back up and play harder.
My counselor said, “why don’t you apply to a community college and spend two years, then apply to a university after you get your associates.”
So it took me a long night to think about it, and I took the opportunity. I applied to Northern Essex and got accepted.
Senior year went off like a bang, I graduated with a Music of the year trophy from Gospel Choir and nailing three solos within the concert. I performed a song by Hilary Duff “Someones watching over me” at a grand talent show. I got a $500 scholarship, a leadership award and a picture on the front page of eagle tribune. I got the scholarship because I sang to a senior woman who was a nurse in a military war back in the 50s. She never had any visitation from family or friends. So I sang to her everytime I visited her to show her that love does exist.
Somehow a whole new world was going to exist for my life, and I needed to be ready. It wasn’t easy, but I wanted to take every advantage I could.
So after I graduated, I attended the Northern Essex Community College to pursue a Music Degree.
Being able to pursue my passion was one of the best decisions I ever made. At the college, I would spend hours in the music room and sing my heart out. I would play around with the music software; I would attend music classes such as music theory, ensemble, choir, and others. Being within that environment made me feel alive. But as I worked hard within music, my health problems became a significant complication.
My Learning Disability, Torrettes, Asthma and Acid Reflux would interrupt me from following my passion.
I didn’t know how to control it. When I would perform, my health problems became the primary attention. At the same time, I was being controlled by my family to follow a grim future other than music.
So I decided to choose to work on getting an associate and work on getting a general studies course. I wanted to wait until I was at a professional university to follow my career passion.
So as I work hard at Northern Essex, my Learning Disability became a struggle, and it took me four years to study books. As well as passing my classes, and finally receiving my associates.
I struggle with health, friendship going downhill and life complications all at the same time. Life wasn’t comfortable, but I battle the challenges as we speak.
I also work on work study as to save money and progress financially.
So I graduate from Northern Essex and receive my associates in liberal arts.
I attend the University of Massachusetts Lowell with a major in Business Management and Entrepreneurship. This time I was hoping to succeed and start a new life at this point. I wanted to attend school, search for a job and work for my company. I would apply for jobs nonstop and receive rejections. It was not easy trying to push forward. So I decided to focus on my classes to get good grades and finally land a better job that could give me a bright future. I went to UMASS for four years and worked hard. I couldn’t participate in programs because I lived far away and I was doing everything I could to receive my license.
I met a girl at the college who was a good friend. I was happy to finally gain friends from high school, necc and new people from UMASS. She became my best friend for a couple of years and our friendship progress with love. I would hang out with her, I even paid for her meals and also took care of her daughter when she needed it. She was going thru problems as well and had asburgers.
Everything went well until the unexpected; I didn’t feel like she was respecting me as somebody, I felt like I was being used and manipulated. I don’t want to include her name cause I am not somebody who wants to hurt others. But I am somebody whos very honest.
I would receive comments that were hurtful and events that were uncomfortable for me. She never realized how much it bothered me.
But in the spring of 2018, I couldn’t forgive this person for what happened.
In the spring of 2018, Doctors informed me that I had TYPE 2 Diabetes and it was a moment I couldn’t handle. I couldn’t take the pain, and I felt like my life was at risk. I hated myself because I would consume sugar nonstop. Knowing the fact, I was diagnosed with a deadly disease sent chills down my body.
At that point, I was happy cause Walmart gave me my first job and I was finally starting to be satisfied. I was working and going to school, as well as being a focus on getting my company back on track.
I sent her a text about what just happened, and all I got back was an offensive photo that I was disgusted upon. She made a joke about my diabetes, and it was a full-on the hurtful situation that I couldn’t control.
Back in the summer of 2015, I went thru gallbladder surgery where doctors had to remove gallstones from my stomach. Days before I almost died three times in my sleep because I had gallstones, asthma and acid reflux combined where I could barely breathe. Right after my surgery, I gained a foggy brain where my brain went completely blank. Everything about business and music got erase from my memory, and for two years I was struggling to gain back my mind. So I had temporary memory loss.
I told her to apologize; her studies were more important than saying sorry to somebody she offended. My sister’s graduation was within that time frame; I got embarrassed by 500 people with the emotions that ran through my head because of what she caused.
Right after she apologized, she and her boyfriend embarrass me in front of the whole school.
The spring of 2018 was the worst semester I ever experience, and I don’t regret writing this. Life is not comfortable, and sometimes we have to work hard to move forward.
During the summer of 2018, I went to therapy as to become a new person and regain my life back. I ended the friendship with her. I stopped any connections with her. I was so frustrated and angry; I wanted to finish my life at that point.
But a therapist helps me get back to who I am now; I went thru so much in life its crazy. I don’t even understand why I went down this path, but I know a brighter future will be better.
I have god within my arms, protecting me and giving me the strength to move forward.
Music has always been part of my life, and Lassie will always be my heart.
I’m a strong and brave woman to move forward and not allow people to torment my soul anymore.
I could never forgive those who tormented me back then, but I can forgive myself and move forward towards a brighter light.
Anybody who has struggled in life or didn’t know who they were, your not alone.
I’m not afraid to post my life story out there, and I wanted to do this for a long time. I just never had the strength or energy to make it happen.
But wherever life takes me, I know I will be a spontaneous butterfly by taking flight.
Always & Forever
At this point, I am working at Walmart and working my way up the ladder. I didn’t have the opportunity in the past to gain experience. But I’m attending college and hopefully graduating in two years with a Bachelors in Business Management and Entrepreneurship.
My dreams are to open a talent company, publish a book, be an artist and most importantly be a professional musician.
At this point in my life, I begin to start a new chapter and relive who I want to be as a creative woman.
As well as a Creative Legacy
At 28 years old, I begin my life, and I am proud of the woman I became today.
If I ever create a future with somebody, at least they’ll know my heart will always be first.
I may have struggled in life, But I am a stronger woman today to conquer life challenge.
Don’t judge my life, until you been in my shoes.
At least people now know my story and what I went thru